CWM: “Why Did I Want This Again?”

This was thought up on December 1, 2015. I have learned that some professors need to be taught.

“hey so you know in your abnormal psych class you get to visit a mental hospital?”

“what no way?”

“yeah and you get to see a schizophrenic, a person with bipolar disorder, and i think even someone with borderline personality disorder.”

“that’s crazy! i don’t know how to feel about that”

“i know, i don’t know whether to feel scared or excited…”

“honestly, i think i feel scared”

“yeah me too, more than anything else.”

“you know, can i tell you something? i think i learned something really important today that’s sort of related to this. so my psychology professor became a really important example of ‘ignorance’, and i’ll tell you how.

first of all, her being a part of the psychology field i thought meant that she would have the same, almost innate, desires to understand and help humans. but today as her tongue slipped about political matters, i realized how she had none of these desires.

man, all she talked about was how the only solution for egypt was for the population to be killed off. and it was such a shock! not because her suggestion was new, whatever i already knew a lot of people were bigoted imbeciles.

it was a shock because her field of expertise is supposed to encompass all these novel reconstructions of human behavior and of how once a behavior is understood it becomes capable of being improved and how that improvement is usually guided by the expert counseling psychologists and that’s what SHE STUDIED to become! and yet, it was not her at all.

she remained the small ignorant bigot of her small ignorant town — and it got me to think that i don’t think it matters where i study or what areas i decide to acquire my knowledge from because even if i go to the best of universities with a closed mind and heart, i will never make a change.

she really reminded me of why i want to do i’m doing.

and so if we’re scared about some aspects of our field i think that it’s okay, maybe normal even to be worried that we could mess up or that we wouldn’t be helpful enough because honestly, i think that’s where all our fear stems from

i think we are afraid of screwing up with types of personalities we’ve never encountered before.

and you know what?

i hope we never lose that fear. because it is what will keep us wanting to learn and wanting to find new ways to help people.

this professor, i found, was so incredibly fruitless. all she has contextual knowledge on are the few ways of therapy she learned and that’s it. she has no concept of analysis or adaptation to a patient’s circumstances. she has generalized the entire human race into a few categories of carried out behavior and she has never been more wrong about the world.

and oh my God i REALLY don’t want to be like her. i mean come on — psychology was able to make sense of the nazis! we were able to explain how their subservience eventually led to them doing unthinkable things.

how DARE she claim that killing people off is a center of resolve? absolutely NO thought went into her words, because i am sure that if among those to be killed off were her husband or parents or son, that she would have other things to say.

anyways, i thought i should tell you about this because i think that we’re on the same page with our passion for psychology, and i hope that our reasons for loving it don’t change.

i hope that life doesn’t change us and that circumstances don’t change our purposes for wanting to pursue it in the first place.

we came to HELP and i pray that we will die with the intention of continuing to HELP.”

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3 thoughts on “CWM: “Why Did I Want This Again?”

  1. That was really inspiring. I never thought of it that way. I wonder what made you professor feel it necessary to share something as shameful as that to entire group of students. I’m glad you had an epiphany that made you realize that you don’t want to change.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad that you see it that way. The profession I aspire to be has shown me some things that I know is a way to tell me that you shouldn’t be like that. Such a great experience to grow from.

        Liked by 1 person

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