I Lost My Phone

So I’ve been staying at a hotel for the past ten days and was planning on posting about one of two events: a really terrible thing that happened or the beauty of a lunar month.

Okay, they sound completely unrelated but they’re actually more intertwined than I’ve expatiated (although I believe a less broad explanation would be more appeciated.)

Anyways after enumerable amounts of drafts (like two drafts) I decided to abandon the lunar idea mostly because I didn’t know how to properly express my serious ardency for it. And then I also quickly realized that the really bad event was completely amiss in respect to this blog and to my inability of proper emotional expression again.

We leave here tomorrow morning and it was just my luck that some other event would occur. Yes, you’ve guessed it clever you! I have lost my phone wahoo.

Obviously that wahoo was sarcastic, I’m actually pretty bumbed, so I decided to compose a homage and to dedicate this post to my late cellular phone of the Apple companies.

Dearest white iPhone 5 that looks like a million other iPhones

Born April something, 2013

Currently MIA (possibly dead) July 4, 2016

Thank you for entering my life when you did. At first all I coveted from you was whatsapp and your camera for selfies, but as time grew around us, it planted a friendship I had never known. I attached you to me in school, at home, in the bathrooms, and even during dinner. Staring at you (totally not because I was waiting for messages) for the sake of appreciating your immaculate silver casing and your sleek iridescent glass was enough. Not a month went by that I didnt care for your screen by using screen protectors. Underneath the crap that would accumulate on the protector, you were a pristine glass and plastic film covered with a grid of electrical conductors of fine metal wires of indium tin oxide (I didn’t have to google that, I knew you too well.) Then a year went by, and then two…you graduated with me and travelled into university and together we survived a wooden dormitory experience. Then another year went by and no offense or anything but I began to not really give a crap about you. I would go days without opening you, and the dust began to pile. And what did you do? You didn’t cry or wail, instead you sat steadfast on the hard wood of my desk and you stayed strong until I decided to slightly pay more attention to you and buy you a cooler case. Now you have gone missing — maybe you’re scared, maybe you’re out of charge, maybe you’re happy to be away, or maybe you want to go home. In any case (pun totally intended), I want to tell you that I hope I find you but that if I don’t I’ll probably just buy an updated, very promulgatedlty better iPhone 6. I also miss you — slightly — actually not much at all.

Okay, I have learned something very important from this traumatic phone search — I lost my phone and I don’t really care.

I am not exactly certain what the purpose of this post is. I give you permission to roll your eyes and swiftly exit from this. See you on some other post, I hope?


One thought on “I Lost My Phone

  1. Okay, quick and possibly completely unimportant update but: I found my phone! It has been two and half days of turning stomachs and confused swirls of thought but it has been found all praise and thanks to God. Where was it you wonder? Behind the bed…like duh, that’s where all things get lost. I learned a lot less than I thought I would from this (lol). Welcome back phone, I actually missed you buddy. ❤️


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